


Eliza Hamilton Takes The Law Into Her Own Hands

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Eliza starts a gang, This Is A Disaster, What Have I Done, its getting long too, this was supposed to be a joke but it ended up really dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 8,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6575035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliza Hamilton realizes that she is great with guns and decides to start a gang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trust me it's a lot darker than it sounds. I started it as a joke but it appears that I can only write dark and depressing stories so that's where it ended up. Have fun, kids.

Alexander had just been shipped out to Iraq to fight, so Eliza had a lot of time to herself. She pondered what she could do. Maybe take up knitting, or perhaps writing. But that's boring. She didn't want to stay at home. She wanted to get out and do things. A job would just weigh her down. So naturally, she went to Alex's crazy intense friend from the military Lafayette (at home on leave at the moment), who always knew how to have a good time. Now, sure, most of his "good times" involved champagne, vodka shots, and alcoholic jello that tasted like ass, but she figured he might be able to give her some good advice.   
She knocked on the door of his apartment. "Hey, Lafayette, you there? It's Eliza!"   
The door swung open, revealing a smiling Lafayette. "Ah, Madame Eliza! What brings you to the casa de Lafayette!"  
She sighed. Lafayette was always very over the top. "I'm bored and need something to do."  
Lafayette clasped his hands together. "I know exactly what you need!" He grabbed his satchel (ok let's face it it was a blinded out pink purse that he called a satchel) and his keys. "Let's head to the rifle range and shoot stuff!"   
Eliza backed up a step. "Lafayette, are you sure that's the best idea? I've never used a gun in my life?"  
Lafayette grinned wildly. "Come on! It'll be fun, and it's a great stress reliever."   
Before she could argue, he grabbed her by the hand and they ran down the stairs and into the parking lot, reaching lafayette's lime green Volkswagen Beetle. Eliza got in shotgun, and they sped off. Lafayette is not the best driver, and the entire time Eliza was gripping the arm rests and trying not to scream.   
Twenty-five life-threatening minutes later, they arrived at the rifle range. Eliza silently thanked God that there was a certified instructor and didn't have to have Lafayette teach her how to shoot a gun.   
She started off with a BB gun, and once she got the hang of that, slowly used more and more powerful rifles.   
"Hey, you're not half bad!" Lafayette said, noticing the spattering of holes along the middle of Eliza's target. Lafayette was not quite as accurate, but he still managed to hit the target. "I remember one time I went here with Aaron Burr, and he missed the target so many times!"   
"Thanks, Laf." She smirked slightly. "You were right, this is pretty fun."  
Lafayette clapped. "Ah, see! I know how to have a good time!" 

Once home, Eliza was still buzzing. She had been fantastic at the rifle range, and even the instructor was impressed.   
Then, she got the spark of an idea in her head. It was not exactly a wise idea, or an idea that was legal. But it was an idea nonetheless.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we gooooo-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliza makes some bad decisions

"How would you like to help me create a gang?"   
That was not the text Lafayette was expecting to get from the mild-mannered Eliza Hamilton.   
"Uh, what?" He sent back, slightly confused.   
"I figured with our skills, we could establish a gang."   
"You're joking, right?" Lafayette was scared now. He quietly prayed that it was a joke.   
"Nope." His jaw dropped. He was about to pop off a text saying HELL NAW MAN WHAT ARE YOU INSANE? but he saw the little ... bubble and he waited. "We could make a load of money."   
Lafayette wanted to say no, but he realized that even if he said no, she'd go off and do it on her own. He wanted to make sure she didn't do anything rash, for both her sake and his. He valued his life. "Alright, what's the catch?"  
"You be my right hand man. You know, like defend me if we get into a fight or something. Help with major transactions. Stuff like that."   
Lafayette was getting very nervous. Eliza was the wife of his best friend, and she was about to do something extremely dangerous. "Let me think about it for a while, and I'll get back to you."   
"Alright. I've already started to gather members for our gang, but I'll save the position for you if you want to do it."   
Lafayette clicked his phone off. He was worried, very worried about what might happen. And he didn't know what to do. So he went to the person who gave him the best advice: George Washington.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette is a disaster dear god someone help this man

"Hey, G Wash, I need your help."   
Lafayette had appeared on Washington's doorstep at three in the morning, but never in a condition like this. His hair, which had always been so well-kept, was a disaster. His clothes hung limply on his form, and he smelled slightly like armpit mixed with heavily used axe body spray. He was wearing a pair of red high-heeled shoes, and George was honestly surprised that Lafayette could even walk in them. All in all, Laf looked like a natural disaster.   
"What's wrong, son? You look like you were hit by a truck." Washington said, his eyes scanning the frenchman's disastrous form for a second time.   
"It was a taxi, actually." Lafayette was talking very quickly, and George was becoming more and more concerned for the man by the minute. "But that's not the point. Can I come inside?"  
"Of course. Make yourself at home." George said, opening the door all the way. Lafayette limped in, took off his heels, and collapsed on the couch. "Have you been drinking, by any chance?"  
Lafayette took a few seconds to answer. "No. This is too important. I need to be sober to think about it."   
"Son, what's the problem?" The ex-military Washington could read Lafayette's emotions like a book, but when it came to mind-reading, he didn't quite have the skill.   
"Eliza Hamilton wants to do something very risky, and she asked me to help her. Part of me feels like I should, to protect her, and another part of me wants to run away screaming." He sighed, and continued. "She wants to start a gang."  
George crinkled his eyes. "The Eliza Hamilton wants to start a gang? That's very... Not like her."   
"I know. I didn't believe it at first myself, but she seems very serious about it." He sat up and put his feet on the coffee table. "I'm terrified, not only for my wellbeing, but for hers too. I don't want my best friend to come back from war to find that his wife was shot by the mob!"   
Before Washington could do anything, Lafayette leaned over and started bawling. This stunned Washington, as he had never seen Lafayette cry. He gave him a box of tissues and a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I'm sure we'll figure this out, son."   
Laf sniffled and patted his eyes with a tissue. The crying revealed the sheer amount of eyeliner he was wearing. Good god, Washington thought, who would need that much eyeliner. But then he realized that this was Lafayette and he really shouldn't be surprised.   
"Thanks, General." Lafayette whimpered. He wiped the last of the tears away, leaving dark streaks from the eyeliner, making him look like a sort of emo clown. He got up and straightened his shirt which was still dirty after getting hit by a taxi. "I'm gonna get myself fixed up." He said, while walking into the bathroom. Then he ran into the doorframe headfirst and passed out on the floor.   
Washington sighed. This was going to be a long night for him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Washington has a bad day and gets hit on by a hot nurse

Eliza opened her door to a very angry Washington, and a slightly unconscious Lafayette leaning on his arm. It turned out Lafayette hadn't slept in like 36 hours, which was why he passed out on Washington's floor. Washington was pretty sure he'd be ok. Pretty sure.   
"Oh, George, what happened to Lafayette?" Eliza exclaimed, after noticing the fainting Frenchman.   
Lafayette murmured something in his native French, before throwing up on the ground.   
"He's fine." George said, yanking Laf up by his arms.   
"You don't speak French do you." Eliza questioned.   
Washington smirked. "No. You?"   
"No."   
They were at a bit of an impasse. Washington wanted to question Eliza on her mob ideas, but Lafayette was having some issues, and he figured that he should probably help Lafayette before something else happens.   
"We should take him to a hospital." Eliza said, inspecting a bump on Laf's head.   
George nodded. "I agree. Apparently, he was hit by a taxi cab."   
They helped Lafayette out into Washington's old dodge, a car so big it had its own zip code, and sped off towards the hospital.   
On the highway, Washington decided to ask Eliza the burning question: "Why do you want to create a gang?"  
Eliza sighed. "Lafayette told you that, didn't he?"   
George nodded. "He was worried about you."   
Eliza looked into the rear mirror to see the not fully conscious man drooling on the nice leather seat. She was starting to reconsider her offer. "I can handle myself."  
"I see you bought a gun." Eliza looked surprised at how Washington could tell, but before she could deny it, he said, "I can see the outline under your shirt. I was in the military, you know. I'm very observant."   
Eliza found herself slightly annoyed. "General, I said I can handle myself. I get that you're worried, but I know what I'm doing."   
Just as she said that, they pulled into the hospital parking lot. Washington opened the door and heaved Lafayette to his feet. "Come on son, it's not that far."   
He gurgled something in French in response. (What a healthy young man)  
Eliza, supporting Lafayette with both of her arms, had an idea. "Wait, General, do you have google translate on your phone?"   
George pulled out a flip phone from 2006. "Sorry to disappoint."  
Eliza gaped at the ancient piece of technology Washington held in his hand. She quietly wondered how he could live with such a terrible phone, but then she realized you could probably use it in a baseball game as a ball and it'd survive being hit with a bat, unlike her fragile iPhone.   
They approached the reception desk at the E.R. "Hello, how may I help you?" Said the nurse, here eyes going from her computer, to Lafayette, and finally settling on Washington.   
"Our friend here was hit by a taxi." Said Eliza, noticing the nurse's interest in the general.  
"And then he walked into a wall and passed out." Washington thought of Lafayette as a son, and he prayed that he would get out of this ok.   
"Does he appear to have a concussion?" The nurse asked, seeing the bump of Laf's head that just kept getting larger.   
"Possibly. He's been speaking French since the incident, because it's his native language." Washington sighed. "Unfortunately, I cannot speak French, and my most trusted translator isn't here."   
The nurse smiled. "Well, lucky for you, I can!" She then told Laf to go into one of the hospital rooms, in perfectly fluent French. He stumbled a few steps, and almost fell over. Sighing, the nurse called a few other nurses to help the muscular young man into the hospital room. "My name's Martha, by the way."   
"George." Washington shook her hand. Eliza scowled. Her soon-to-be right hand man was in the hospital, and Washington was getting hit on by this old nurse. Was it jealousy? Or spite?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This ones a bit boring but u just wait until the next one

Lafayette walked out of the hospital the next day even more worried than he was before. He was diagnosed with a minor concussion, severe bruising, and several broken ribs. The doctor was surprised that he had even managed to walk to Washington's apartment. But that wasn't his main concern. He knew he had to prevent Eliza from doing something stupid, and he didn't know how he could do it. And Washington was of no help. Last Laf had heard, the general was out on a date with the nurse from the hospital. Typical. The young, muscular, attractive man gets hit by a taxi while the old, stiff, boring Washington gets a date.   
Lafayette took the bus back to his apartment and found himself tapping his foot. It was a nervous tick he had had since high school, but he thought he had left it behind when he joined the military. It tuned out he was wrong. 

"Eliza, please, don't do this! It's a mistake, and you're going to get yourself killed!" Lafayette yelled through the phone at Eliza. He had finally worked up the courage to call her and tell her what a mistake she was making.   
Eliza scoffed. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I have all sorts of contacts, and now I have two large bodyguards."  
"Bodyguards aren't going to help you when a military sniper shoots you from 200 meters away!"   
He could hear her smile through the phone. "They won't need to help, if the snipers don't find me."   
Before he could reply, he heard a click. She hung up... He thought to himself. He was beginning to think that maybe he should give a call to Alex, to try and inform him of his wife's newfound passion for violence. But he also didn't want to worry him. So he'd have to rely on Washington for support.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Washington has an even worse day

Washington walked up the steps to Eliza's house and rapped three times on the door. He was starting to worry; she wasn't answering his calls, and he had left three whole voicemails, ten emails, and fifteen texts that all took quite a long time to punch out because the keypad on his phone wasn't exactly modern.   
After five minutes of her not answering, he rung the doorbell and knocked on her door again. It reminded him of Halloween, except he was visiting one house, and trying to stop a woman from starting a gang. Ok so maybe it wasn't like Halloween.   
He looked into the windows. Darkness. Her car was still in the driveway, so she had to be home. But why wasn't she answering?   
After knocking and ringing again, he decided to resort to brute force. He covered his hand with his jacket and broke one of the windows next to the door, reached a hand in, and unlocked it. God, he hadn't done that in a while. He slowly opened the door, and had his hand on the butt of the colt he always carried on him. Seeing no immediate threat in the front room, he turned on the light, illuminating the hall. Pictures of Eliza, Alex, and their firstborn son Philip hung on the wall. Where was Philip in all of this? Did she hire a babysitter to take care of her son while she went off to take the law into her own hands? He paused in front of one: a picture of Alex and Philip at Disney. Philip was smiling, and Alex grinned like an idiot, that look on his face that made you know how proud he was of his son. Eliza must've been taking the picture, since she wasn't in it. George smiled at it. They were such a happy young family, whereas George the eternal bachelor had only ever had quick stints with women, before they broke it off with him. He liked the nurse he went out with though. Martha, her name was. She was sweet, and would listen to George's stories, unlike most people, who would just fall asleep. She seemed like she genuinely liked him.   
While he was lost in thought, he heard the sound of fabric shuffling behind him. Whipping around and pulling out his colt, he scanned the room. Then he saw something that anyone else might have overlooked. A dark shape, casting a short shadow behind the couch. And a quiet sniffling noise. He slowly walked over and moved the couch. Behind it was the crouching, sobbing form of three-year-old Philip Hamilton.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor philip

George, despite being the 50 year old bachelor, was great with kids. For some reason, they always flocked to him. He didn't really know how to handle them, so he did whatever he could to try to make them happy. With the young Philip Hamilton, that involved picking him up and letting him cry on his shoulder. Holding Philip in one arm, George used the other to phone Lafayette. Unlike Eliza, America's favorite fighting Frenchman picked up the phone immediately.  
"Ah, Washington! Have you managed to contact her? I haven't heard anything from her since yesterday!" Laf screeched through the phone, clearly panicking. For once, George could understand his fear.   
"She wasn't answering her door, so I broke in. She left Philip, Laf." George said solemnly into his cell.   
He could hear Lafayette gasp loudly through the phone. "That's TERRIBLE! George, we need to find her!"   
George was slightly surprised to hear Lafayette call him by his first name. Most people called him by his last name, or General because of his prosperous military career.  
"I know, son. Maybe we should contact the FBI." George was always able to keep a level head, even if the worst was happening, which was why people relied on him for support. And the worst was happening right then and there.   
"No, they'd be of no help. They'd probably just throw her in jail or something. She's a good person, general, and I don't want to see her ruin her life."   
George thought for a minute. "Maybe she's contacted Angelica. Listen, I'm gonna head home. Get over to my place whenever you can, and we'll formulate a plan."   
"Alright. I'll be right over." Lafayette said, his voice shaking slightly. George clicked his phone shut, effectively ending the conversation. He wouldn't let anyone know it, but George was very worried.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My dearest Angelica is gonna go ape shit  
> This ones longer

Philip sat on Washington's couch, clutching a pillow. The poor kid was in shambles because his mom had just upped and left.   
"Philip, when was the last time you saw your mom?" Washington said, in a soothing voice. Lafayette stood behind him, amazed that the old general could be so good with kids.   
Philip rubbed his nose with his hand. The poor lad must've caught a cold or something. "L-last night." He paused, sneezed, and continued. "She put me in bed and I haven't seen her since."   
Washington nodded. That corresponded with the last time either him or Lafayette had contacted Eliza.   
Just as George was about to say something, Philip burst into tears. "Please, do you know where my mom is? I wanna go home!"   
George stood up and got the tissues for the unfortunate three year old. Making eye contact with Lafayette, he saw the Frenchman mouth what do we say? In response, Washington sighed and mouthed I'll take care of it. He sat down beside the little boy and put his arm around him. Philip threw his arms around Washington's torso and held onto him for dear life, sobbing loudly. Lafayette stood there awkwardly, while George was giving the abandoned child reassuring words. Then Laf realized that he should probably make himself useful, so he mouthed to Washington I'll call Angelica, picked up his phone, and walked into the other room. 

"Hey, Angelica? It's Lafayette." Laf was trying to avoid sounding as scared as he felt. He had never been involved in something as serious as this. The worst crime he'd ever done was jaywalking or not putting enough quarters in a parking meter at the beach. He wasn't meant for this kind of business.  
"Oh, hey Lafayette, what's up?" Angelica's smooth voice floated through the phone. She was always calm and collected, except when someone did something stupid. Then she went ape shit.   
Lafayette took two breaths, and said, "Have you heard from your sister lately?"  
Angelica's voice sounded slightly surprised. "Well, no, not since yesterday. Why do you ask?" Laf had noticed that Angelica had started to develop a slight British accent, from her semester at Oxford. She was still living in London, going back to school and working part-time.   
Should he tell her? Or would it be best not to worry her? He pondered it for a moment, but she spoke before he could. "Lafayette, has something happened to my sister?"  
He knew he should tell her. So over the next few minutes, he explained everything he could, all of the details he could remember. There were a few gaps, from when he was in the hospital and unconscious in Washington's dodge. Angelica stayed silent for the entire explanation.   
"And so that's what happened." Lafayette paused. "And it's all my fault."   
Angelica, using her kindest voice, said, "Laf, it's not your fault. How were you to know she would end up going a little crazy and deciding to start a gang?"  
Trying not to cry, he took another deep breath. "I know, but it just feels like it's my fault."  
Neither of them spoke for a minute. It was Angelica who broke the silence. "I'll call her, and if she doesn't reply, I'll catch the next plane to Laguardia."   
"You don't have to do that. Washington is helping, and I wouldn't want you spending any money you don't need to spend." Lafayette didn't want to put her through any trouble, but Angelica was very protective of her sister, and she'd turn in to Liam Neeson from Taken if her sister was in danger.   
"No. I'm coming over." Lafayette was about to hang up, when Angelica spoke again. "Does Alexander know?"  
Lafayette sighed. "No."  
"Good." Before Laf could question her about her last statement, she hung up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one isn't as eventful but it's just kinda filler

Angelica tried calling her sister. Answering machine. She tried again. Answering machine. She tried her sister's work phone. Answering machine. She called her sister's boss. Eliza hadn't come in in a week.   
Finally setting her phone down, she knew something was definitely wrong. Her sister always answered when she called, even if it was three in the morning. She pulled up her laptop and sent an email to Eliza's home and work emails. Once those were sent, she looked at sites for the next flight to New York LaGuardia airport. It wasn't exactly the best prices flight, but she was desperate. She could save some money by crashing on Laf's couch instead of getting a hotel room, but she realized that worrying about money was stupid. She had inherited a huge pile of cash from her father, so she'd never have to worry about her finances. But she had saved all of that money to the side, and wanted to make her own fortune by doing her own work. Right now, she was in school learning to become a neurosurgeon.   
Booking a flight, she printed out her boarding pass and packed her bags, throwing three pairs of jeans and a few shirts into her suitcase, and one dress just in case. She was quickly out the door and off to the airport.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People start to get together

Lafayette stood at the airport, a scared Philip with a death grip on his hand. He got the boy a little plastic airplane, so he was occupied for the moment. But it wouldn't last. He hoped Angelica would get here quickly.   
Scanning the crowd of recent arrivals, he finally spotted Angelica off in the distance, dragging a pink carry-on. Her face lit up when she saw Laf waiting for her. She dashed down the stairs and hugged him, which Laf found very surprising, because Angelica never hugged anybody. Britain must've really changed her.   
Then, she looked down and saw Philip. And oh, did her face fall. "She... She left Philip?" Was the only thing she could squeak out.   
Laf nodded solemnly. "Washington would've come with me, but he was up all night making sure Philip was ok." He reached a hand up and scratched the back of his head. "Man, he's surprisingly good with kids."  
"God, I never expected Eliza to do something as rash as this." Angelica had returned to her calm demeanor, but inside she was beginning to panic. "Come on, let's go get my bag."  
With Philip clinging to "Auntie Angie's" hand, they proceeded to the bag pick up area thing. Philip was hugely fascinated by how the bags magically knew where to go. 

Washington pulled out his enormous, chunky laptop and pulled up a database of recent arrests in the New York area. No Eliza. He looked at recent unidentified murders. He sighed. At least he now knew Eliza wasn't in jail or murdered. For all he knew, she could be anywhere.   
All of a sudden, he heard a ringing noise. It was a phone ringtone, coming from inside of the couch. He fished around, and ended up pulling out an iPhone. Eliza's iPhone. And the caller ID read "Alexander."   
He was pondering whether or not to answer it, but voicemail decided that for him. Hamilton's voice came through the phone, sounding shaky and sad.   
"Hey, honey. Call me as soon as you get this. Laurens..." He sighed, "Laurens was shot." The answering machine beeped, signaling the end of his call.   
Washington was hit by this hard. He had known John Laurens fairly well, since he was always over at Hamilton's house. Washington liked the man, although he suspected there was something between him and Hamilton. Plus, Laurens had served under him when George was still in the military.  
But then he began to wonder whether or not he should call Hamilton back. George decided that he shouldn't, because of all that was going on with Eliza and Philip.   
And Philip... What to do with poor Philip.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelica has a fun car ride with Uncle Laf

Lafayette sped back to Washington's apartment as fast as he could, Angelica gripping the armrests and praying to god. Of course, Philip loved Uncle Laf's reckless driving. He was a good kid, and anything that would keep him from crying was a good thing. Once, they took a sharp turn and Angelica literally ripped the armrest off of the car. Unfortunately for Laf, it was a rental and he'll have to pay for that.  
They finally rolled up to Washington's house, Angelica thankful that the ride was over. She was starting to question whoever gave Lafayette his license.   
Philip gripped her hand while they walked into the door. Washington looked up from his enormous laptop, his face troubled even more than it had been before.   
"What, did you find something?" Angelica asked, eager to find any lead to help locate her sister.   
He shook his head. "No, but something even more concerning." He pushed the laptop away and leaned back. "I trust you remember John Laurens? Alex's old friend from the military?"  
Angelica raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, what about him?"  
"Alex called Eliza's phone. Laurens was shot."   
Angelica looked startled. "That's terrible! When did it happen?"   
"He didn't say. But he sounded stressed on the phone." Washington looked worried for Alex's sake, and Angelica could understand why. She knew Alex was like a son to the general, and she herself had had a crush on her sister's husband since she had met him. But she knew his real love was his best friend, John.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets sad

Alex called Eliza's cell for the 15th time in a row. He didn't understand why she wasn't picking up. She always had her cell on her. He was getting more stressed by the minute, and it didn't help that his best friend was just shot.   
He took a few deep breaths. Ok Alex, he thought to himself who else can we call?   
He punched Washington's number into the phone. The general may have been technologically impaired, but he answered every phone call he'd ever gotten, even to wrong numbers and spam calls. It rang once, twice, and then he heard a solemn, "Hello?"  
"Oh, general, thank god you picked up." Alex was relieved that at least Washington was there. He desperately needed someone to talk to. "Have you seen Eliza? She isn't picking up her phone?"  
He could hear the general sigh. Was something wrong with Eliza too?   
"No, I haven't seen her. I've been..." A pause, "I've been busy."   
"Washington, is something wrong with Eliza?"  
Alex could tell that George was thinking, carefully pondering the words that would hurt the least. After a long, uncomfortable silence, he finally started. "Son, your wife is sort of missing in action. We haven't heard from her in over a week."   
Alex found himself instinctively clenching his fist. First, his best friend was shot, and now he finds out that his wife has disappeared off of the face of the earth! What a great day for the esteemed Alexander Hamilton! "Why didn't anyone think to call me and tell me this?"   
"We didn't want to make you worry." The general sounded sincerely sorry. But knowing Washington, it was probably his idea not to tell Alex.   
"Where's Philip?" He said, his thoughts immediately clicking to his three year old son. Alex started to get even more worried, if that was possible, because his beautiful son could be in grave danger.   
"He's with Lafayette and Angelica. She flew over from London yesterday."   
"So you'd tell her sister, but not me, her husband?" Alex was starting to scream into the phone. He knew he had lost his head, but it was understandable in this situation.   
"Alex, we didn't want to worry you. You clearly already have enough on your plate." Washington was beginning to sound more sad than anything.  
Alex took a few deep breaths, trying to collect himself. "Alright, well, I'll see when I can get back. Have you told the police?"   
"No. Not yet. We're still trying to figure out what we should do."   
Alex scratched his chin. "Well, if she doesn't show up in a day, call me again and I'll try to get home as soon as I can." He was about to hang up, when he quietly said, "Please make sure Philip stays safe."   
Washington's voice grew soft. "I will."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A person on tumblr suggested I add a dog to the story  
> And I write for the people  
> So here you go

Lafayette paced back and forth. He was contemplating a list of everywhere that Eliza might have gone. Unfortunately, he didn't exactly keep tabs of where she went, so the list was rather short.  
Philip was asleep on his bed in the other room, and Angelica was passed out on his couch. Her and Laf had been taking watches to make sure no one burst in to take Philip, and right now it was his turn. It was about 2 in the morning, according to the clock on the microwave. That meant that Laf hasn't slept in around... 32 hours. Damn, he thought, I need to stop doing this. Of course, he wouldn't. Not when there's Netflix.  
He could hear Angelica shift and roll over. She had had horrible jet lag from the flight over from London. All things considered, she still looked pretty good.  
Just as he was admiring her, he heard the creak of a door. He whipped around and saw the small form of Philip, tearfully holding a teddy bear. He sniffled, and said, "Mr Lafayette, I can't sleep."  
Laf wasn't very good with kids, but he had picked up a few tips from Washington. For example, if a child is crying, that usually means something is wrong. He got to his knees and put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Are you worried about your mom?"  
Philip just nodded and clutched his bear tighter. Laf felt so bad for the kid. It's one thing when you're an adult and your friend is off doing some criminal activity and has had no contact with you for two weeks, it's another thing if you're a child and your mom ups and abandons you in your big, dark, scary house while your dad's off at war.  
"Alright, kid." He said, picking up the boy. "Want me to tell you a story?"  
Philip nodded again. Gosh, Lafayette felt like Jean Valjean right then and there. This kid is young and scared, and Laf was responsible for him. Except Jean Valjean could take care of a child. 

Washington laid on his couch, staring at the ceiling. He was puzzled on several levels. Why would Eliza just leave her son? Why would she make such a rash decision so quickly? Where did she go?  
With his experience doing profiles for the FBI, he should have been able to find a reason. But nothing added up. There was just so much that he didn't understand.  
All of a sudden, his door burst open. His survival instincts kicked in, grabbing his gun and kicking up his coffee table to make a barricade. He steadied his breathing and peeked over the edge of the table. He could just see, in the darkness, the outline of a person. Female, average build, about 5'3"... Wait a minute...  
"General?" A feminine voice sliced through the air. But it wasn't the voice he was expecting.  
"Peggy?" Washington didn't expect the other Schuyler sister to burst into his door at 3 in the morning. This was definitely weird. Had Eliza contacted Peggy?  
"Oh, thank goodness. I was worried I had broken into the wrong house." She examined the scratches on the wall from where she had kicked in the door.  
"Peggy?" Washington shoved his gun into its holster. "Why did you break into my house?"  
She scratched her head. "Oh yeah. Sorry about that. I came to talk to you about Eliza."  
He was now very interested. Motioning for her to sit down, he said, "Has she been in contact with you in the past two weeks?"  
Peggy looked down. "No. That's what I was coming to talk to you about. She hadn't called me, texted me, answered any of my emails, or responded to any of the letters I mailed her!" Washington could tell she was beginning to freak out. "But she did send me something. Last week, about Wednesday."  
Washington raised an eyebrow. This was what he wanted to hear.  
She pulled a letter out of the large bag she was holding. It was a plain looking letter, with no return address and a stamp you could buy at any post office or drugstore. "She sent me this letter, and one other thing." Reaching back into the bag, she slowly pulled out a whimpering young German Shepard puppy.  
"What the hell?" Washington said, his jaw dropping as he took the letter from her and opened the note within the envelope. Hey Peggy, Eliza's swirling handwriting scrolled across the page, I found this dog when I was establishing my base. I'm allergic to dogs, so I figured you might want to have her. Don't come looking for me. I can handle myself.  
Love, Eliza.  
He closed the note and put it back into the envelope. "Well, now we know she's set up a base."  
"Yeah. There's one problem, though." Peggy laughed. "I'm allergic to dogs too."  
A smile peeked at the edge of Washington's mouth. "Well, I could keep her. Wouldn't want her to have to go to a shelter or anything." The puppy yapped and licked the general's nose. "You like the sound of that, girl?" The little dog's tail wagged furiously, and Washington laughed. "What should we call her?"  
Peggy scratched her chin. "What about... Cosette?"  
Washington raised a brow. "Like from Les Mis?"  
"Wow, you've actually seen that? I'm surprised, general." Peggy smiled.  
He chuckled. "I don't live under a rock, Peggy. Besides, I happen to like musicals." He looked back at the puppy, who was now peeing. The general sighed. "Well, Cosette, we'll have to get you potty trained."  
"But first we have to find Eliza." Peggy said, checking her watch.  
"Right." Standing up, Washington walked into his kitchen, pawing through drawers. He pulled one open, exclaimed "Eureka!" and yanked out a small pink dog collar and a leash.  
"I'm not even gonna ask where you got those." Peggy murmured.  
"Hey, I heard that. And I had a dog, several years ago." He smiled. "Poor Tipsy. She got diabetes, and I wasn't around enough for me to take proper care of her." He put the collar onto his new dog, and he was secretly really happy. He had been planning to get a new dog anyway, and this saved him the trouble. She was a great dog.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette cooks paella  
> There's a lot of eating in oncoming chapters so get ready

Washington knocked on the door of Lafayette's apartment. "Laf, open up!" He yelled, probably disturbing the neighbors.  
"Alright, alright, I'm coming." Laf ran and unlocked the deadbolt and the latch, quickly opening the door. "My paella is going to burn!"   
Washington walked in, Peggy trailing behind him. And of course, the first thing Philip noticed was the little puppy that Washington had in his arms.   
"Puppy!" Philip exclaimed, running up to the general, reaching up to try to pat the puppy. Washington was significantly taller than Philip, so he bent down and sat the dog on the ground.   
Lafayette turned away from his paella for a moment. "I have a million questions and zero answers. Also, where did you find Peggy?"  
Angelica ran out of the other room. "Peggy?"  
"Angelica?" She smiled widely, running up to hug her elder sister.   
"Sis, it's been too long!" Angelica laughed. "You should've called me!"   
"I don't have international minutes!" Peggy said, laughing and talking at the same time.   
"I'm gonna have to make more paella now!" Laf said, pretending to sound angry. But he clearly wasn't, as he had a big smile across his face. "Man, Peggy, it's been a while, hasn't it!"   
"Good to see you too, Laf!" Peggy gave him a quick hug, before kneeling down to hug Philip.   
"Aunty Peg!" The young boy threw his arms around his aunt's neck, and for a moment, everyone was at peace. 

After a long dinner, with everyone catching up and talking about what they've been doing lately, they finally reached that uncomfortable conversation.   
"Peggy, I hate to ask this, but have you heard from Eliza?" Angelica said, fiddling with her fork.   
Peggy shook her head. "No, outside of a letter saying not to look for her and the puppy. That's why I sought out Washington. And because I'm allergic to dogs, and figured Washington might want it." She pulled out the letter and laid it on the table. "Here's the letter, if you wanna read it."  
Angelica picked up the letter and read it intently. Lafayette leaned uncomfortably close over her shoulder, attempting to read the letter without having to get out of his chair.   
"Well, at least we know she's alive as of last week." Laf said, attempting to keep on the bright side.   
Washington cleared his throat, bringing the attention to him. "I received a call from Alex two days ago." He took a deep breath. "He knows everything, minus the letter from Peggy. I haven't had the time to call him about it."   
Everyone looked solemnly at Washington. He knew how to silence a room with just a few words.   
Just as the silence was getting awkward, Washington's cell started ringing. Pulling it out, he held out a finger to silence Lafayette before he started talking. He flipped it open and murmured, "Hello?"  
"General? It's Alex." Washington let out a sigh. He didn't know what he was so worried about. He also realized he should probably get a phone with caller ID.   
"Oh, Alexander. Any news?"   
"I was about to ask you the same thing."  
Washington's eyes flickered to the rest of his crew. He counted three seconds, before saying, "Peggy's here. She got a letter from Eliza a week ago saying that she was setting up a base and not to look for her."  
Alex sighed through the phone. "Well, that's good, I guess."  
"She also left a puppy."   
"What?"  
"Eliza left a puppy on Peggy's doorstep alongside the letter. Apparently she's allergic and couldn't keep it." Washington looked over to Philip and the puppy, playing together on the floor.   
"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard." George could hear Alex scratching his chin through the phone. "I'm on leave in a few days. I'll come back with Laurens. He's being honorably discharged for his duty."   
"Well, that's good." Washington pondered that for a minute. "Come to my apartment when you're back. I'll brief you on what's going on."   
Alex laughed. "We're like our own little branch of the FBI."   
Washington smiled. "The X Files."   
Alex snorted. "Yeah, right. See you in a few days, G Wash."   
"See you, Alex." He closed the phone. The rest of the company was staring at him, waiting for him to disclose what Alex had just said in the call.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Washington has a sleepover with Alex and John

Alex walked through the airport, arm linked with John's, glancing around for George Washington.   
"He said he would be here..." He murmured, quietly praying that he would appear soon.   
"Don't worry. We'll find him." John replied gently. John had grown accustomed to Alex freaking out, and he knew how to deal with it.   
Just as he said that, Alex spotted the general.   
"Hey! G Wash!" He yelled, running towards the old man. Poor Laurens was dragged along behind him.   
"Hello, son." George chuckled. "You're late."   
"The flight was delayed because of a storm." Alex said, stretching his arms over his head. "Man, am I glad to be back."   
"It's getting pretty rough over there." John motioned to his arm.   
George nodded and gave John a reassuring pat on his shoulder. "It's not much better here, with Eliza off doing who knows what, leaving Philip behind. The place was ransacked."  
Alex pursed his lips. "Guess we're not going home, then."  
Washington shook his head. "No. You'd better stay at my place. I have a guest room."  
Alex nodded. "Alright, thanks man.   
Washington then seemed to remember that Laurens was there. "John, you got a way to get home?"  
"Nah. If you could drive me to my parents house, that'd be great."   
Alex turned and faced him. "John, no. You know what's happening with Eliza, and I'm sure you could help us find her. Washington, you don't mind if he stays with us, do you?"   
Washington thought for a moment. "Alright. It'll be a tight squeeze, but there's enough room."  
John smiled widely and shook George's hand. "Thanks, general." 

Washington sat alone at his dinner table. It was small, but suited his bachelor lifestyle. The clock bonged once, signaling that it was one in the morning. He sacrificed his bed to John and his guest room to Alex, so he had tried for several hours to sleep on the couch. But there was just so much going on. He was trying to get the facts aligned in his head, to try to figure everything out.   
After a lovely ten minutes of staring at the wall, George pulled out his phone and clicked through his contacts. Not many of them would be up at such an awful hour in the morning. Fortunately, someone called him first.   
"Hello?" He said, surprised.   
"George? It's Martha! I had a feeling you were up." Martha spoke cheerily through the phone. "I'm on the graveyard shift, and I had a feeling you might still be up!"  
George sighed. Martha was exactly who he needed to hear: someone out of the loop of what's going on, who didn't look to him as if he were the grandfather who was supposed to know everything. When in fact he did not know everything, quite the contrary, if you would believe it. He just got lucky sometimes, and made good guesses.   
"Oh, hey Martha. How are you?" He said, mumbling slightly.   
"I'm good, George, but you don't sound good. Is something wrong?" She sounded genuinely worried. It had been a long time since anyone had worried about the stoic general of the United States Army.   
"Oh, I'm fine. Work's been rather stressful." He wasn't in the army anymore, but George worked in a college teaching military history. Now, how teaching military history could be stressful, George wasn't sure, but it was the best option he had without saying outright that his friend's wife was missing and possibly leading her own mafia.   
"Well, I'm on break in half an hour, if you wanna come visit. Now, I have to get back to work! See you in half an hour!" And just like that George had established another date for himself. He liked Martha. She suited him well.   
He quickly scribbled out a note to Alex and John, saying that he had "gone out for a drive" and would be back posthaste. Most of it was true. But they wouldn't expect the general to have left to see a woman, and he had a reputation to keep up. He grabbed his keys and his leather satchel (some would say it's not masculine, but George thinks it's always helpful to have everything you need on hand in a stylish leather bag. Also, no one wants to make fun of the tall, scary, old general) and made his way out the door.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is stupid and I should probably have made it into a different fic. But it's cute. So whatever.

John waited until he heard Washington's door close, before he got up and went into the kitchen. He had been really stressed, having nightmares about the horrors of what he saw overseas. He had no idea what Washington was doing, but he didn't care. He just had to get up and distract himself, and what better way to distract yourself than by cooking.   
Soon thereafter he had a soufflé in the oven, fettuccini Alfredo cooking on the stove, and deviled eggs in the fridge. Naturally, he had made quite a bit of noise, and he was happy that Alex hadn't woken up. Then again, Alex could sleep through anything, from a bombing to a tornado. And yes, he had slept through both.   
John was very fond of Alex. He thought of him as his best friend, and possibly even more than that. But John's childish crush would never be able to evolve into anything more, given that Alex was A) married, and B) as far as he knew, straight. Course, Alex knew that John was super gay, and he was glad that Alex wasn't turned away by that fact.   
Then again, if you saw the two of them together, you'd think that they were in love. They spend all of their time together, they crack jokes with each other, and they're practically inseparable. John figured that Washington suspected something, but he knew that the general, even if he asked them about it, would find nothing.   
"John? Why does the house smell like chocolate and garlic?" John spun around, to see that Alex had woken up and was standing in the living room, one hand rubbing his hair and the other rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.   
"Couldn't sleep, so I decided to cook some stuff." John gestured to the plethora of food occupying the kitchen.   
"Where's G Wash?" Alex said, while picking up the note with Washington's scrawling handwriting on it.   
"I heard him talking to someone on the phone, and then he left. Figured it was a woman." John was watching Alex from a distance. But then he realized that his alfredo sauce was burning and quickly returned his attention to the food.  
"A woman? At this time in the morning? Man, I didn't expect him of all people to do something like that." Alex chuckled. "Guess even the general has a life!"   
"He is human, Alex. Everyone's gotta have some fun." John finished the Alfredo sauce, and now looked to the soufflé. It hadn't fallen, which was a good thing. But it looked like a giant disaster. He sighed and walked over to the fridge. "Want some deviled eggs?"   
"Don't mind if I do." Alex snatched up one just as John sat the plate on the table. Shoving the entire egg into his mouth, his eyes grew wide. "John, these are delicious! Where did you learn to make these?"   
John attempted to cover up the fact that he was blushing. "My grandfather's secret recipe. He used a splash of vinegar to add a certain flavor to them."   
Alex laughed and grabbed another. "Well, your granddad had a great recipe, let me tell you!"   
John smiled. "I'm glad you like them." Just as he was about to say something else, a timer went off. "THE SOUFFLÉ!" he shrieked, snatching up the ratty old rags that he had been using as oven mitts, flipping open the oven, and quickly pulling out his disastrous soufflé and slamming it onto the counter.   
Alex cringed at the sight of the soufflé. He could hear John quietly swearing under his breath, and so he walked over and patted him on his shoulder. "I'm sure it'll taste good!"   
John rolled his eyes. "Sure. This disaster will taste great."


End file.
